An Encounter With Yeshua

By Isabelle Esling

Religion & spirituality, General non-fiction

Paperback, eBook

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1161
6 mins

The Rebirth

Just before

They had tried me without a trial; they had already condemned me before I had been judged. Their sentence was ready before I could even open my mouth and defend myself. I was getting closer to true human nature. I had done my best. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I was longing for new horizons. The pain was immense. Damage had been done. I needed restoration like never before.
During one second, I had identified myself with the Suffering Messiah, and then I completely forgot about it. The fatigue was taking over. I was longing for rest, yet they were harassing me till the end.
I had set big hopes on something that had shown deceitful to me. I was in the process of learning a new life lesson. First, I had to learn how to take care of my body again. Second, I had to strengthen my mind, once again, because it had been attacked tremendously.

Meeting Yeshua

N.B: The “Face” in the first chapter, refers to the Face of the Shroud

I didn’t expect to meet you. My mind was kilometers away from you. I was surfing on the internet. You showed up in some way. As I glanced at your Face, tears started running from my eyes, abundantly, like clear water. I think I wept for hours, just staring at your Face. Strangely, as I wept there was no pain inside of my heart.
My tears started clearing up and cleaning my soul. A powerful work of redemption was happening right now. You didn’t say anything. You were listening to my words with a sustained attention.
As I stopped weeping, all my surroundings became very calm. I looked at my face in the mirror. It reflected peace. My eyes weren’t red at all, nor did they hurt. I realized that you had just consoled me.
Within a few hours, you have wiped away burdens of shame and humiliation that kept me enslaved for numerous years.
Things that I had kept buried deep inside resurfaced, but only to be destroyed by the burning fire of your Spirit.
I was experiencing a day of mercy. You touched my soul.
The day after you took me to another silent place outside where I rested for a while.
I kept silent. Unexpectedly, you started speaking to me. People had always spoken about you in my childhood. Quantities of images and stories had been displayed to me. I had always searched for you. I had a precise idea about the type of person you should be.
As you started speaking to me, I realized I was totally wrong. I didn’t know you at all. You were so different from all I could imagine.
Your beautiful, manly voice was a combination of authority and tenderness. I was so amazed to hear you, Yeshua. Or was I only imagining all this?
I could not ignore the way you spoke to me, because your voice was taking the entire place in my mind. I simply could not ignore it.
You came with a precise request to me: would I accept you as my personal Savior?
Your question left only two options to me: yes or no-there was no place for a comfortable “in between”.

I also knew I had to be ready to bear the consequences of my choice.
It wasn’t that easy to handle your request actually. I knew, deep inside my heart, that I loved you. But did I love you enough? Was I ready? What prevented me from saying yes?
I exposed you my fears. I told you that I was afraid of what you could ask me in return.
It was so silent all around. Would you answer me, Yeshua?
When I heard your answer, I was moved to tears. You were not asking me for anything in return, you only wanted me to invite you into my life.
Without further hesitation I said yes.
I left the bank I was sitting on. As I started walking, I felt your hand holding mine. You were so real, so concrete I simply could not omit you.
I held your hand tightly, like a small child. I realized that I had been missing you all my life. I realized that I had just been saved. You were here, and you loved me tremendously, challenging the frontiers of my imagination.
The world suddenly expanded and my heart was filled with an unknown joy, the joy of the Spirit.
I started becoming hungry and thirsty for you at each minute. Things that I used to consider as important suddenly became meaningless.
Another big change happened. I used to be very scared about death. I was now cured, because I knew with certainty that I’d spend eternity with you. My last day would not be an ending, a fate, but rather a new beginning with you.
What also amazes me is your closeness and huge compassion towards human nature. We prompt to promise, yet we let down as soon as we promised. We swear eternal love, then we betray. We lack patience, we lack humility. Yet never have I heard a word condemning us from you.
You had asked me to meditate on your Passion, which I indeed considered as one of the most difficult spiritual exercise. I didn’t really like picturing your barbaric torture followed by your wrongful death.
It had bothered me so much that I ended up totally ignoring it. While I still considered you as a great spiritual teacher, I would avoid thinking about the Passion-intentionally.
But your presence in my life brought the subject back into my life. I love meditation. Meditation is a daily practice, but meditating on your Passion involved a special effort from me. It involved that I put myself in your skin.
I hate pain. I loathe suffering. I detest violence. Moreover, I hated to see all these people spitting at your face and slapping it with their dirty hands. I hated to see them taking pride in it, not knowing what they were doing. How could someone willingly accept to be humiliated and to die this way? I hated this horrible, heavy cross they forced you to carry when you had already been scourged and crowned with thorns. Some call it the Crown of Glory; I called it the Crown of pain.
No matter how great the plan of the Creator was, it kept me scared… why would He sacrifice His Beloved? Just thinking about it gave me shivers.
“For the love of all human beings, for their redemption”, you said to me.
It didn’t leave me reassured. If the Creator, who was love, permitted this to happen to Yeshua who was pure and abiding, how would He treat us, sinful creatures?

But well- I accepted your request and as I began meditating on your Passion, you truly blessed my heart. Each scene I saw with my spiritual eye was purifying my soul.
At some point, I realized that you suffered for all and once at all, for us to be free. What a revelation!
I became conscious that your love was so immense; I was even unable to perceive ten percent of it.
I realized that giving you my heart in return was nothing compared to all you gave me.
I had no excuses to refuse your gift.
For every tear that I shed, more peace was coming into my heart. I wonder how you are doing this, but I feel like a brand new person today. My transgressions are all being washed away.
I began to know you a little bit better. I looked up at the beauty and purity of your soul in total awe. It cleansed me to my inner depths. I understood your humbleness and I began blessing your name with faith.
I am slowly recovering from my blindness. Through your suffering I was in a process of complete healing.
I cannot actually describe the joy of being in your presence, night and day, 24/7.
If one person is able to change people’s lives, then this person is you. One encounter with you is enough to change the face of the world.
While I am conscious that it would be so wonderful that more people knew the real you and not a fabricated dogma or a vain human made picture, I know that I cannot impose you to other people, as you let me totally free in my choices. In the past, I have suffered from people trying to convert me at any price. A conversion is a love story and it can only take birth by free will.
I can only pray in my silent heart that more people will awaken to your presence, because it is absolute joy and daily peace.
We all grow up with religious conditioning. Whether we like it or not, we all have representations of how you should be and how you should act. But meeting you changes all misconceptions. Meeting you is meeting somebody completely different. We have no choice but to challenge our former beliefs and open our hearts to the Truth.
But we should also comprehend that our spiritual experience might be very different from another person’s.
It is weird. Religious communities have disgusted me from prayer. I had stopped praying for quite a while and now that you are here, holding my hand, it becomes a pleasant exercise.
You were always here, but the difference now is that I am fully conscious of your presence.
You are standing in front of me and I enjoy talking to you. It is as simple as A B C, to tell the truth.
I am now praying differently; all of a sudden I do realize that I am talking to my dearest friend. The bright light of your undeniable presence is there, night and day. I feel it like a positive energy that travels through me. I once audaciously talked to the light shining through my hands and I dared to ask: “Tell me who you are…” and you answered straight away: “I am the Living Word”.
Years ago, I had been using dead Scriptures and I expected miracles. Now I was in presence of the Living Word. Wow. Yeshua is the Living Word.
This made a huge difference. I was in presence of my Lord and He was restoring my faith in Him.
I am still your small child. No matter how old I grow, I will always remain your small child.
You said that meeting you is not a face-to-face; it is rather a heart-to-heart encounter, even when this literally happens. I am impressed with your wisdom and I do drink your words with an abundant thirst. I am praying for that heart-to-heart encounter with you. You promised pure hearts to see you; this is what you said in your sermon on the mount. You are the Truth and the Truth cannot deceive me in any way. In the abyssal depths of my temple, I am requesting your blessing. I am requesting you to purify my heart and my soul, so I will be able to stand in front of you.
I do deeply desire this hear-to-heart encounter with you, but I have to be ready. I am preparing myself to be able to approach you.
I guess my soul needs to be washed over and over again with my tears. I have this feeling of relief when I do cry in front of you. It is never crying out of pain, it is rather letting go all the things that were deeply buried inside and prevented me from being close to your heart.
I am asking you to set me free, and you are doing it, always.
I am learning. In some visions, I am getting to know your soul. Oh I love your soul; it is so beautiful and pure. If mankind knew, they’d leave all the meaningless things they are running after in order to earn your friendship.
Yet your friendship is not even to be earned, it is given to us freely, but so many remain blind to see.
Finding you is finding the whole Universe’s treasures. You are always close to my heart; all I have to do is to call your name, whether silently or aloud.



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