How Not To Meet The Man of Your Dreams Revised

By Leenna Naidoo

Personal growth, Comedy & satire


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2 mins

Introduction and Step 1

The singleton searching for her (or his) soulmate/perfect partner/decent-person-looking- to-commit-to-a-decent-relationship has a ton of resources readily available. There are libraries of books, a plethora of fun (or strict) instructional programmes, plus a wealth of online articles to guide her/him in this most important of tasks.

But what about us who want to know how NOT to meet the man of our dreams. We all have reasons, diverse and perverse, for wanting such information freely available.

Perhaps, you are now weary (or wary) of a succession of dead-end relationships. You just need to be on your own to discover who you really are, and whether you can tolerate your real self, but those darn attractive guys keep distracting you!

OR you, brave soul, wish to accelerate your self-growth by seeking to experience difficult and doomed relationships.

OR, like me, you learn better by being told what not to do to underline why it should be done this way and not that way.

Whatever your reason, you have nothing but my respect and compassion. and to offer you my hard won wisdom and words on this incredibly important issue.

Disclaimer: I am not a relationship coach or other professional. I am, like the speaker in the 'Wear Sunscreen' song, drawing on my own observations, experiences and knowledge hoping to begin conversation on a much ignored topic.

Now, by observing just three or four of these fun and easy to do steps, you too can be assured that you'll have no chance of meeting the man of your dreams.

First, lets all make sure that you and I are on the same page concerning terminology.

Definition: The Man of Your Dreams (TMOYD™)

Your soulmate, that guy you day-dream about, that guy in your sleeping dreams, that guy you sometimes see who you think could possibly, maybe, be The One.

Hot guys in soapies or that guy in the really cool new movie or the cute guy in that new band do not qualify as real TMOYDs (unless they are all within your social sphere).

You are, of course, free to disagree with me, but please, read further before doing so.

Now, if you're ready, lets get straight down to business.

Step 1

Refrain from dealing with any of your issues

All this easy to follow step requires you to do is not explore any of your issues. At all. Ever. By all means, explore life; explore friendships; wonder about things and try to save everything from the whales to some strange exotic plant, or the earth. Follow your heart on all of that. But DO NOT explore any of your personal issues. If you do not follow any other step, you absolutely must follow this one.

Exploring your personal issues is like shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to not meeting TMOYD. If you explore your issues, grow emotionally or any of that stuff, you can be sure TMOYD will eventually find you even it if you're doing everything in your power not to! Trust me, I've seen this happen too many times. It once even happened to me. Fortunately, I recognised what was happening and took action (or rather non-action) at once!




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