Into The Shadows

By Marie Jones

Literary fiction, Romance, General fiction

Paperback, eBook

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956
2 mins

Chapter One

Chapter One

I've never really been an impulsive person, daring to try new things. I'm not the girl you would secretly admire, dream, envy you were more like. No, I'm the one who's doing the dreaming, the envying, the desiring. In my whole twenty nine years to date, I'm ashamed to admit that I've never, not once, leapt into the big unknown; ready to grasp whatever was hurtling towards me.

I live a very tidy, organised and, yes, bland life. I know that, I'm so aware of that. I wish my days were full of multicoloured lights and pictures and moving spheres. I wish for ... oh I don't know, just to feel something, anything. Dare I even say it… love? And yet, just saying that word aloud, and I'm breaking out in a cold sweat. The thought of that uncontrollable emotion getting ahold of me makes me literally shudder all over.

So, taking all this into account, brutally accepting what I am, I'm now having to face the stark, simple truth - I've lost control of my mind. I must have, completely, to be even contemplating this, to allow this idea to gain momentum to the point I have this crazy tingling excitement coursing through my body.

Because you can't exist, you can't. The idea is preposterous, ridiculous! No, I need to push this insane urge away, reject it out of hand. Be grateful for my safe, predictable world I've safeguarded around myself.

Yet, yet...

I feel this … pull to you, a complete and utter stranger, and it's so strong I'm not sure how I can resist it. And that is a very new phenomena for me. It's like I can hear you calling out to me to return, come back, and I'm finding myself obeying you. My goodness, is this what crazy, irrational behaviour feels like, this trapping of your mind?

I'll come. I will. I'll try and help you... if you want me to.

But I'll be honest with you. I'm sitting here, feeling so inadequate. I'm scared, even, of my own shadow, for pity's sake. I wish, oh how I wish I was stronger, more confident, more sure of myself. I have no idea why you've chosen me. I don't get it, I really don't. Do we know each other, from some distant time or place? I definitely don't recognise you ... but maybe that's just down to my appalling memory.

I do have to secretly confess to something - this feeling of being driven to do this is quite intoxicating, liberating even.

So this is me, right now. I'm confused, yet clear-headed. Irrational, yet focused. I'm packing my practical navy suitcase, while looking down amazed at what my own shaking hands are doing. I'm nervous, but … excited. So excited. As if I'm waking from a long dreamless sleep, where up to now I've been conducting my life. That until this moment, I have been hovering in the safety of the sidelines and now, finally, I am stepping out towards centre stage.

So wait for me, please, because I'm coming.




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