The Remembered Self: A Journey Into the Heart of the Beast

By M.J. Payne


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Chapter 11

"I felt caught in my own trap. Yes, I did know others. I remembered their big eyes and sheet white faces. I recalled the smell of the dirt as a pit was dug and the punch of the hovels as they bit into the moist ground Dirt was smeared on our naked bodies and we were shoved screaming into the grave I looked up through the tree branches and saw the sharp, thin crescent moon, a starving scythe that had carved its way into the sky, slashing the velvet darkness Stars that spread across the heavens had each bitten a hole to show pinprick of a blinding cold metallic dome that existed behind the blackness The taste of metal was in my mouth a reflection of the vast, icy, inhuman universe We had fallen through a trap door and landed in the acrid dirt preparing to suffocate as they shoveled earth into the pit we were covered up to our chins, wild hearts beating like drums, open mouths screaming unable to cover them with arms buried and bound under the tamped down dirt We spit out the earth, but more was thrown in behind us until nothing showed but our open, shrieking mouths We were bound in the arms of the cold earth all that night We slept in its grip and woke in its deathly arms. They dug us out and took us back to the mansion and hosed us down.
"That is the punishment for telling and for disobedience. You will do as you are told. You will come when called You will do whatever you are told."
As I listened, madness beyond terror overwhelmed me and I screamed and raged with the fury of the living soul. Several in white coats tried to subdue me but I bit their hands and clawed at their eyes, my body rampaging with astonishing strength. I banged my head against the wall and as I had my mouth on the throat on one of my captors I felt a needle prick and all went black. In the morning I remembered nothing.



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