Denial, Deceit, Discovery

By J James

Biography & memoir | Paperback, eBook


"Gay, straight or just confused; everyone will connect with this book on some level". Denial, Deceit, Discovery is the heart-rending story based on true events in the life of Jack Ellis; a young Catholic man deep in denial of his own homosexuality. It tells the story of how his own denial and the denial of his loved ones forced him to conform to the straight world, resulting in his marriage to his high school sweetheart. After years of cruising gay porn sites, chatting online with endless guys and intimate encounters with close friends, Jack was pulled into a life of deceit with a string of sexual partners. The story explains the pain and suffering of those around him as his secrets unfold and honesty rises up. The torture endured as Jack struggles to piece together the complex story of his own sexuality is truly moving. Escaping the shame, Jack flees to Bangkok with his gay lover where a much greater world of deceit and discovery awaits them both.


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"Gay, straight or just confused; everyone will connect with this book on some level". Denial, Deceit, Discovery is the heart-rending story based on true events in the life of Jack Ellis; a young Catholic man deep in denial of his own homosexuality. It tells the story of how his own denial and the denial of his loved ones forced him to conform to the straight world, resulting in his marriage to his high school sweetheart. After years of cruising gay porn sites, chatting online with endless guys and intimate encounters with close friends, Jack was pulled into a life of deceit with a string of sexual partners. The story explains the pain and suffering of those around him as his secrets unfold and honesty rises up. The torture endured as Jack struggles to piece together the complex story of hi...


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Written in the style of a personal memoir, the story tells the complex, engaging and moving coming out story of the book’s main character, Jack Ellis. Jack is a young Catholic man living in the UK who struggles mightily on the road to self-awareness. Jack’s life is inspired by many events experienced by myself, but the universal themes of honesty, personal growth and acceptance transcend one person’s story. Denial, Deceit, Discovery will make you laugh, cry, cringe and blush as Jack's life evolves from shame and embarrassment, to hope and acceptance. It’s a wholly relatable tale that I hope will speak to anyone who has struggled to understand an aspect of his or her identity. After over a decade of teaching, educational management and administration, I needed to find an outlet to share my personal story. As a lifelong lover of literature and writing, I have dedicated my career to educating students, helping them develop the tools they’ll need to share their stories in the future. My first manuscript was inspired by the response I received from the Catholic priest who officiated my marriage annulment. As part of the process, I was asked to submit a small document outlining my feelings about the events that culminated in the failure of my marriage. The priest commented that the piece was the most moving and impactful account he had ever read. He called it an “inspiration” to other men and women struggling with similar situations. After exploring many options, I realized that my story could help people to understand the complex issues facing gay men in denial – hopefully, helping to spare others from the heartache I and my loved ones experienced. Originally from the UK, I am currently living and working in Southeast Asia. I am enjoying the tropical climate, and the relaxed pace, which has provided me with the opportunity to continue developing ideas for my second novel.


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Written in the style of a personal memoir, the story tells the complex, engaging and moving coming out story of the book’s main character, Jack Ellis. Jack is a young Catholic man living in the UK who struggles mightily on the road to self-awareness. Jack’s life is inspired by many events experienced by myself, but the universal themes of honesty, personal growth and acceptance transcend one perso...


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